November 26, 2015

The Elite Four: First-Person Shooters

For someone who doesn't particularly care for First-Person Shooters, this list was quite crowded before I started weeding out titles. It goes to show you that if a game is truly good, one's distaste can be easily overridden. So let's get to the point: here are my Top Five First-Person Shooter Games.

5. Call of Duty
4. Battlefield
3. Titanfall
2. Destiny
1. Halo


We all know those games are crap. Okay maybe not, but they certainly don't pique my fancy. Here are some that do!

November 19, 2015

That's A Wrap: South Park: The Stick of Truth

warning: may contain spoilers and offensive content. Emphasis on the offensive content.

I should probably preface this whole thing by letting you know that I am a big, huge, massive, gargantuan, humongous, jumbo fan of South Park. Okay, maybe I don't deserve all of those synonyms, but I really do love the show. I've been watching faithfully since it began all those years ago (wow, I'm old.), and the South Park movie is one of the few that I can not only recite to you verbatim there's a bunch of birds in the sky..., but I can watch on repeat all day long (I'm not joking. I've done that.) and never tire of it. I'm always quoting the show and I'd be a lying sonofabitch if I said that South Park hadn't influenced my life somehow. So of course I've played every South Park game ever, right?! Um. No. I don't know what kind of traitor this makes me, but I have actually never played a South Park game before in my life. This is the first. Yikes.
South Park: The Stick of Truth is a 2014 RPG developed my Obsidian and published by Ubisoft for PS3, Xbox360 and PC. The game was creatively handled by the gods of all things South Park - Matt Stone and Trey Parker - and to me, that means there is virtually no way this game could go wrong.

As a devoted SP fan, I of course saw the handful of episodes that set up The Stick of Truth when they capped off season 17 in 2013. They actually teased the game in the season finale, but quickly recounted the claim by saying something like "yeah, as if that's ever going to happen!" But it did happen! The Stick of Truth - henceforth known as TSOT - is loosely centered around the kids being inspired by the television show Game of Thrones, as well as video games, movies and other general fantasy. Each boy took up a fantasy persona - a princess, and wizard, a paladin, etc. - and played until their imaginations ran dry.
My first taste of TSOT was shortly after it was released, I watched a friend of mine play the first 5 or 10 minutes and all I really remember is nonstop laughter. I was immediately sold on TSOT and simply waiting for a good (financial) opportunity to pick it up. I think I ended up finding it for $10 or so, which as far as I'm concerned is a steal. Anyway, the first 5 or 10 minutes of my own playthrough was pretty calm, since I had already seen it once before, so I just sat back and tried to enjoy the little things most people might not notice. After that - I'm gonna be honest with you - I did not get off to a good start. My expectations just started sinking when everything did not go smoothly, and I struggled to get a handle on the combat. But then something happened… I realized I was 7 hours into the game. Surely I can't be 7 hours deep into a game I dislike... so let's get into it!